Before the RNC Came to Town a short story

Months before the RNC descended upon the Twin Cities, the local news reported all the might of both public and private militias would be in force and ready for the political convention. The story further noted, the local police are well trained and remain on high alert for anti-GOP/GWB elements.

The county Sheriff pulled in behind me as I drove forward from a stop, through the last green light in town. He tailed me for ten miles, then turned on his red lights and pulled me over.

The only vehicle in front of me drove 50 mph in a 55 mph zone the whole way. I followed at a safe distance, minding the mandatory, painted dots from a state highway project that happened to be on that stretch of highway.

At the nearest edge of the next town, he pulled me over, and a lengthy parade of cars passed by, each gawking, no. leering at me with disgust. Like it was my fucking fault the van in front of me was traveling at 50 mph or that a cop was following me. They all could see I had done nothing wrong, for ten fucking miles.

The Sheriff told me he stopped me due to the signs in my rear window and the crack in my windshield. I said, “I can remove the signs, but the windshield is another matter.” He asked for my license and proof of insurance, which I cooperatively provided.

He asked about the crack across the bottom of my windshield and I explained the window frame will not support a new window because of aging body rust on my 20 year old car (which, has since been retired).

He asked where I was going and I answered, “Home from my Dad’s.”

Then he leaned in closer and asked, “What is with those rocks?” I pulled out the first palm sized stone, with a painted picture of a whale, from the coin cubby and showed it to him, explaining it was a gift. I put it back and picked up the other one, which was just a rock, exclaiming, “I found this one; I collect heart shaped rocks!”

His face was inches from mine as he looked into my eyes. Considering I was sober, all he got was a breath of ham and scallop potatoes. Fucker. After deciding I wasn’t a terrible menace, told me to stay in my car as he headed back to his cruiser.

My homemade car signs were taped to the inside of my rear window. One sign read IMPEACH and the other, INDICT. And in between, was a W with the word WRONG underneath. I intentionally put them along the bottom of the window so they would be out of my rear mirror view.

The Sheriff returned, handed back my credentials, and told me to, “Remove the signs and do something about your windshield.” I asked if I should remove the signs now or could it wait until I arrived home? He said it could wait until I was home. Then I asked, “Can it wait until after the election?” He said, “No!” as he chuckled, walked away and let me go.